Gripped in

Happy new year by the way....

Today is day 15 - that was the last time I had an alcoholic beverage.

Over the past 6 months I have struggled greatly to control my tendancy to consume alcohol. Every 3-4 weeks I enter a moment of weakness where I decide to buy a bottle of gin and proceed to get myself absolutely trolleyed.

I want to stop - I'm damaging relationships, my job, future prospects as well as my mind and body. On the 6th of January as I was coming off convulsions of withdrawals from alcohol at the detox centre and my mind was in utter disarray. Why was I doing this again? How did it get to this?

I've got to do all I can to stop this behaviour and the only thing that I can really change is making a more concerted effort to be aware of my actions. I'm finally really trying hard to make AA meetings, get involved and be in constant touch with my sponsors. This must continue. I can't afford to fail this time.

I'm going to try and continue logging my process - Hopefully this is a place to put my jumbled thoughts on paper to help clear my head.