Awareness of alcohol as a problem?

I'm not sure - I haven't been here in forever... but a realisation has set in. I turn now to alcohol when I am afraid to confront my fears and take responsibility for them.

Its pretty simple, and it sounds as earth shattering as every other great idea that I have had but I don't know why it seems so clear now... In the past two years I can list every situation where I had relapsed and turned to alcholism and connect it with a situation that I did not want to deal with... or at least thats how it started.

Anyway this time I'm not sure what is so profound (an alcoholic is an alcoholic is an alcoholic) but there is something distintly different with the way I face the problem.

In this case losing my job and not wanting to face with what to do next. Until the drinking binge has actually taken its toll and I realise that I cannot face the problem that way - thats when I climb out of it... or make an honest attempt.

In the past when I wasn't an alcoholic I really didn't face the problems with the same intensity as I do now - heck sometimes I didn't face it at all and that is why I am somewhat disappointed in what life has given me even though I know I should be happy, but I'm not programmed that way. Thats all for now